by Digitaltips.com ; curated by
James Ahlschlager
Here is a List of "Things" DJ's will go through for the rest of our lives!!!
1. You can never go to a nightclub and just 'have fun'; oh, no.
Even if you
can get over the secret jealousy of wanting to be DJing, you're
hyper-critical of everything from the DJs, to the sound system, to the
way the door is being run; the lot.
The more you DJ out, the more this
one creeps up on you, until going out simply becomes research/checking
out the competition.
You, in short, become a not very fun person to go
out (clubbing) with.
2. You spot instantly when a CD loops in a bar, cafe, etc.
You feel you are generally the only person who notices background music
anyway, and so naturally, you're the only one who gets upset when you
hear a CD play on loop.
It's especially annoying in nice restaurants,
where you can't help yourself thinking, "Why did they pay so much
attention to everything apart from the music?"
Saying this out loud,
though, usually gets you a kick under the table from your other half for
being so miserable.
3. You can spot instantly when a speaker is
distorting, even at 50 yards!
Picture this: You're on a lovely beach
with friends or partner, sun shining, cold drink, and in the distance, a
little beach shack plays top 40 radio through a distorted old
speaker.
Can
you relax? No chance.
That little plastic speaker becomes
the bane of your life until you are finally out of earshot.
Even the
crap they're playing becomes secondary to the quality!
4. You can no
longer count past four (crazy but true).
You find yourself counting any
rhythm anywhere, or just an imaginary rhythm in your head, and
naturally, you go "one, two, three, four" round and round.
At least
you're not a microphone roadie with a rock band; they get stuck at
"one-two! one-TWO!"
5. You can't hear a song that you know played
in full, without hearing "
your" transitions.
"Why isn't song X coming
in?" you think, until you remember that this isn't actually your mix, but
just one of "your" songs being played somewhere else.
Related: Not
liking the speed a song is being played at, because you play it at a
different speed.
6. You hear mistakes when everyone else thinks
the DJ is awesome.
Smart DJs learn not to point out train wrecks and
other DJing errors to their friends, who, we learn, are not afflicted
like us, and generally happy to dance through even appalling errors.
Related: Spotting mixes that aren't in key.
7. You get annoyed when
TV commercials brutally edit songs.
And what really annoys you is
that they are not respecting the underlying song structure (see point 4;
see, you can't help it!
You're subconsciously counting those beats and
bars in fours).
8. When someone asks you "what's your favourite
music?" you reply "for what purpose?"
Being unable to separate what
you like from what you think any given dancefloor might like is bad, but
it's hard to stop this developing from the necessary skill of simply
separating the two things in your head.
9. Instantly spotting when
your windscreen wipers, indicator lights or even a loud clock are in
time with the music you're playing.
This one really does feel close to
madness sometimes (for me anyway), spotting a beatmatch between car
hardware and car stereo.
Related: Beatmatching your strides to the
songs on your headphones when our running.
10. You can't help
yourself frantically trying to remember snippets of song lyrics in order
to Google them later; normally when Shazam fails to recognize a new
song you know you've
got to have.
11. You are utterly unable to
keep yourself away from DJ booths.
Mainly this is to see the equipment
the DJ is using, hopefully it isn't to make requests, although I am
personally fond of just shaking the DJ's hand on the way out, if I've
enjoyed his or her music.
After all, we (DJs) all know how much that means,
don't we?
12. Having the sudden urge to go and adjust the sound when
another DJ is playing.
Right, I've actually done this (in fact, it was
the pitch).
TRUE STORY - Some dude was playing 80s megamixes at +8, and he slipped
off to the toilet, so I marched up and set it all to the right speed (
only to slink away like a coward when I saw him returning). :)
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13. You turn anything with a volume fader into DJ equipment, and so
get irrationally annoyed at any
kind of audio gear that has electronic
up/down volume controls instead of a knob you can use to cut the music
in and out quickly with!
14. You are the only person who spots the
odd song from the '90s at a so-called "'80s night".
I mean, we can all
hopefully understand why no normal, sane person would care about this,
but it's wrong, isn't it?
Finally...
Seriously, I do
hope you can still go out and have fun at least sometimes, and that you
can see how we DJs can be just a little annoying to everyone
else, at least every now and then!
I wanted to end with a true story
from our friends over at Tuff Covers.
One of that gang went to a
pre-natal appointment, and when the nurse scanned their tiny unborn baby,
and its little heartbeat echoed through the examination room.
I
quote, "I knew the BPM of the baby's heartbeat before the machine even
worked it out"!
There really is no hope for some people
. :)
(Credit:
www.digitaldjtips.com)
